HATE YOU, LOVE YOU
(A NishiKato FanFic)
“I’m tired..” Shige said suddenly when he was alone with Ryo in the restaurant. They were with Koyama before he left for K-chan News.
“Eh? What do you mean? Tired of what?” Ryo asked.
Shige held Ryo’s hands, “I’m sorry but I need some space. You know what I mean, right?”
“So, you’re breaking up with me.” Ryo said firmly although deep inside he’s slowly breaking.
Shige sighed, “It’s not really that.. but..”
“Okay then!” Ryo broke anything that he’s supposed to say, “If that makes you happy. Then, I’m willing to let go.”
Although shocked with Ryo’s decision, he smiled at him. “Thank You.”
Ryo just nodded. Shige was about to stand and go out of the restaurant when Ryo spoke, ”I just hope you’ll be happy. And I hope you wont forget how mush I love you.”
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It has been two days since they last met. Ryo was alone in his unit.
“Argh! Why did I decide that fast? I could’ve just said no and fought for it!” Doubtful on what to do, he picked up his phone and dialed YamaPi’s number.
“Yo!” YamaPi answered on the other line, “What’s up?”
“Are you free tonight? I need someone to talk to. Meet me at Roponggi.” Ryo said, it was more of an order than a plead.
“Wakatta.. I’ll be there in an hour.”
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“So, you broke up with him.. and now you’re sad?” Keichan asked Shige. They were at Roponggi that time.
“Exactly! I told him I needed space. But now, I realized I was wrong.”
“BAKA!”
“I am. I know I am.. But you know what actually hurt me?” he took a shot of tequila, “It’s because.. it’s so easy for him to let go. I hate him!”
“Why Shige? What do you expect him to do? He wished for your happiness, right?”
“I know that.. but.. I wasn’t really expecting it to be that fast.. And because of that, my doubts are really becoming huge!”
“Ehh?” Keichan was intrigued, “Doubts? You were doubting his love?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’m jealous. I mean.. he seems so close to Pi.. I don’t know.”
Koyama just smiled. He took a sip of his liquor.. “Don’t you think Ryo doubts us as well?” he asked with a meaningful smile.
“Urosai! What are you talking about? He knows we’re best friends and..” he stopped when he saw a couple of guys who entered the bar.
“Ehh? Doushita?” that was Koyama.
Shige nodded to the direction of the couple and Koyama followed it. It was YamaPi and Ryo. Koyama then looked at Shige.
“Yappari..” Shige’s voice was broken this time and later on several tears fell.
Koyama automatically hugged him and comforted him. “Hush now Shige. I’m here for you.” Afterwhich, he led Shige away from that place.
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“So, what are you going to tell me?” Pi asked Ryo while waiting for their drinks.
Ryo Let out a sigh and answered, “ It’s over. He broke up with me..” he covered his face with his hands moving to the top of his head.
“But why? What’s his reason?”
“He said he needed some space,” he stopped for their drinks arrived. He took a sip and stared at the glass. “I love him Pi. I’m going crazy! I kept on thinking about him.. about us. I don’t know.”
“Well,” Pi started, “Why’d you agree to end it in the first place?”
Ryo looked at Pi with his teary and troubled eyes, “ I know. I got it wrong too.” Then he looked down and continued to say in a discreet way, “ I guess I was just shocked and just thought he might be happy with it.”
“And do you think he’s happy with your status now? I mean.. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve known you both for quite some time, and I know how close and dependent you were with each other.”
Ryo let out a sigh. “I’m sorry for bringing you into this Pi.”
Pi held his hand and gently pressed it. “Just let it out, okay? Don’t worry about me.”
Ryo met his gaze and smiled sadly.
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Two weeks had passed. This day, the six members of NEWS are to meet each other to shoot for a Summer-themed CM.
“Are you ready to meet him?” Koyama asked Shige. They were the first to arrive at the venue.
“I guess I am. Well, hopefully. I just hope I wont get emotional when I see him just like the last time.
Koyama messed Shige’s hair, “Ore mo. I really hope so..” He laughed a bit, “coz I have no plans of comforting you all the way Baka Shige!!” he continued in a childlike tone which made Shige laugh.
What a bright morning! Hisashiburi Keichan and Shige!” yelled by a cute creature from behind.
“Ahh! Massuda.” Keichan shouted loudly and actively.
“Yo!” Shige saluted.
After a while. . .
“Minna! Minna! Minna!” an excited Tegoshi ran towards them.
“Yuu-chan! So hyper.. What’s it about?” asked Koyama.
“Waa~ I’m so excited about the shoot! Yay! Surfing!” Tegoshi then pretended to be surfing, trying to balance imaginarily.
“Ano~” YamaPi who just arrived with Ryo placed his hands on Tegoshi’s shoulder. “I’m sorry to disappoint you but only Ryo would do the surfing for the shoot.. And the rest of us would stay on the shore to do some stuff.”
“Ehh? Who said so?” Tegoshi asked while pouting disappointedly.
“Kore. .” Ryo handed him the script.
Tegoshi scanned the papers. Still pouting, he stubbornly returned the script to Ryo and sat on a chair beside Massu. The other members just laughed and enjoyed themselves watching his actions.
Ryo caught Shige’s eyes and his laughter turned to a half smile, “Hisashiburi.”
“Uhnn. . Hisashiburi.” Shige greeted bitterly.
Trying to lighten the intensifying mood between Shige and Ryo, YamaPi called the latter to practice his surfing.
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“See that Kei? Aren’t they sweet enough to become lovers” Shige was referring to YamaPi and Ryo. Pi was handing Ryo a towel and a drink.
“You still love him, do you?” Koyama looked at Shige intently.
Shige sighed and focused his eyes on other direction, “Atarimae darou. . We’ve been couple for more than a year. Demo..”
“Demo, your bakaness ruined everything. You suddenly broke up with him and now you’re hurting so much coz he doesn’t seem to care?”
“Kei!” Shige was a bit irritated, “it’s all my fault. I know that!”
“Then, why don’t you make a move? Straighten things up! Talk to him!”
“I. . . I can’t.”
“But why?”
“Because. . . he’s happy now. And that’s all that is important to me.”
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They were in the middle of their shooting when suddenly a huge wave came crashing on the shore. Ryo got off balance and hurt himself with the surf board.
“Ryo-chan!” Shige shouted worriedly as he tried to swim to help Ryo. When they got at the shore, Ryo’s forehead was bleeding and made him unconscious.
“Ryo-chan! Ryo-chan!” Shige called out his name as he was holding his hand tightly. He was half-crying.
The other members went near them with the paramedics. Pi tried to comfort Shige while Ryo was brought to the cottage.
“Here. . Drink this first so you’ll calm down.”
Shige accepted the glass of water that Pi handed him, “Arigatou.”
Pi then sat beside him. “Ryo-chan,” Pi started, “ he loves you still. Even if he doesn’t really say it. So much like you.”
Shige looked at Pi who in return was looking straight to his eyes. He then looked down trying to avoid their leader’s stare. “I hate him. I hate him for making me feel this way. Every day that we’re apart, I miss him even more. I can’t get him off my system. I hate him.”
“Shhh. .” Pi stopped him, “ you know what Shige? Ryo-chan. . he hates himself too.”
Shige showed a confused look which made YamaPi smile.
“Yes, he hates himself coz he can’t help himself from missing and loving you. And everyday, he comes to hate himself even more.”
“But, Pi. I thought he’s happy. . . . with you.”
“Hah! So you really thought we’re together!” it was more of a statement than a question.
“Why? Isn’t it?” he asked.
“Of course not! I mean.. he’s my friend. And I’m just concerned about him. God! Shige, if only you knew how crazy he is. He kept on blaming himself. Why’d he let you go? Why’d he decided to end it that fast. If I didn’t accompany him, he might drink himself to death. He tried to forget but he can’t.. You’re the only one for him.”
Shige was shocked with YamaPi’s revelation.
“That Baka! But.. Two weeks ago.. at Roponggi?”
“Two weeks ago at Roponggi was the first time I told Pi about our situation.” Ryo suddenly butted in with their conversation.
Ryo nodded at Pi and silently thanked him. And then, Pi excused himself from them.
“Are you okay now?” Shige asked Ryo worriedly. Ryo touched his forehead with the bandage, “I’m not okay.”
“Does it hurt?” Shige went near him to check on his wound when suddenly Ryo hugged him.
“I’m not okay.. coz I missed you so much.” He whispered. He loosened his embrace and cupped Shige’s face to see him. “Can we talk?”
Shige just nodded in agreement. Ryo held his hand and guided him to sit on the rock by the shore. There were a few moments of silence before Ryo broke it. “Why did you broke up with me? You said you needed space, but.. Actually I really didn’t get it.”
Shige sighed, “Because.. I’m an IDIOT! Actually, I was just trying to test you or just make fun of you but your answer was just so fast. Is it really that easy to let go?” his voice was broken as he started to get emotional.
Ryo placed his arms around Shige’s shoulder, “Look, I don’t know how to react that time. I was shocked. I was not on my mind. I. . I don’t know.”
Shige looked at him. Their eyes met. “Do you hate me?” he asked.
Ryo half-smiled. He didn’t answer him. But slowly, he was closing the distance between them. Shige knew what will happen next so he gently closed his eyes until he felt Ryo’s lips on his.
Ryo kissed him sweetly, passionately and full of love. He was savoring all the days that they weren’t together through that kiss. Shige couldn’t help himself but to kiss Ryo back. God knows how much he missed him.
”Yes Kato Shigeaki. I hate you!” Ryo said after the kiss, “but, I love you more than anything. I’m useless without you. Please, can we start all over again?”
Shige’s tear fell and automatically, Ryo wiped it with his hand. He ran his fingers through Shige’s cheeks. “Please, don’t ask me to leave you ever again coz I can never give that request to you.”
“I hate you!” Shige said as he hugged him, “I hate you for making me love you this much. I won’t be that stupid to ask you that coz I can’t afford to lose you.”
“You promise?” Ryo asked.
“Uhnn..” Shige nodded.
“And again, Ryo crossed the distance between them and sealed their promise with a kiss.
>>>The End<<<
