The NEWS who broke my heart ...

October 7, 2011, probably would be the greatest nightmare I had as a fangirl.. I've never expected such terrible thing to happen especially to the group who I've learned to live with.. the group who I've put my trust, love and devotion .. It's such a disastrous event which slowly sank in and devoured my heart slowly leaving me with tiny, shattered pieces..

Yamashita Tomohisa and Nishikido Ryo left NEWS.. OUCH~!! That was the first word that came into my mind.. followed by.. USO~!! This can't be true... This can't be happening.. It's just a dreadful dream.. I have to wake up from this awful nightmare... But I can't do it.. I can never wake up from this bad dream... coz this isn't a bad dream at all.. It's REALITY... And all that's left for me is to accept it..

It's hard... I can't help myself from feeling down, sad, bitter, betrayed and even angry perhaps.. But with whom? To Johnny K.? To Yamapi? To Ryo-chan? or to myself?

Somehow... I want to blame Yamapi for making me feel this way.. He made us believe that they'll come back as better and stronger NEWS.. That we have to believe them and patiently wait for them.. Darn.. His words are making it more difficult for me to accept this loss..

And Ryo-chan... Why now?? This question has been bugging my mind a lot.. You've been through this for 8 years... Why now Ryo?? and Why NEWS?

I'm feeling this mixed emotions.. and I don't understand anything about this.. It's hard.. and painful.. It's as if I've lost a really big part of my life.. NEWS has made me smile... NEWS has inspired me to move on and do my best.. Their songs served as my inspiration.. my enlightenment.. my strength... BUT, who would have thought that NEWS would also be the reason of my tears.. my heartaches... my pain...

To be honest... I'm still very sad right now.. I mean.. who wouldn't be? right? But as I thought of it... What about the four members who decided to stay and carry on the name of NEWS? What are they feeling at the moment? If I was hurt this bad... How about them? How about Kei-chan... the mother of NEWS feel about losing two of her family members? How about Shige? Massu? Tego-nyan? What are their thoughts about this? How do they feel?

If it's hard for us fans to accept this.... How much more for the 4 remaining members? KoyaTegoShigeMasu..

It may take time to erase this pain... But it will be gone soon... It'll heal over time... But we can't deny the fact that it will leave a BIG SCAR and somehow an EMPTINESS in our HEARTS..

Minna... This is REALITY... and we have to ACCEPT IT... I can't blame anyone for feeling the same thing as I do.. It's normal.. It's pretty normal.. Because we LOVE NEWS... Because we are part of NEWS and NEWS is part of US... Let's all REMEMBER that NEWS is a 7 member-group..

YAMAPI... RYO.. KOYAMA... SHIGE.. MASSU.. TEGO-nyan.. and US....

Let's continue to support and LOVE NEWS... Let's continue to support and be happy for Yamapi and Ryo's decision...

and of course...

Let's all hold our hands together.. Stand up... Move on... SMILE... and BE STRONG for the FOUR MEMBERS who NEVER LEFT US...

NEWS WILL ALWAYS BE NEWS...